All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
did you just send me my own nude
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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