Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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