I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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