Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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