she was so not down for the gang bang
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
