There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize