I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
