maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
