we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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