I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
