in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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