is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
