i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
