There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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