Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
