We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
