i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
