Plan B is the new Plan A
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Alive.
So much puke
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize