Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
