glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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