I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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