Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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