nut hugger
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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