apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
