white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
