he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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