i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Randomize