Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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