I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
