what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize