you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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