Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
