I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
