i just had sex bonerless
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
