Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
