Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
