Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
