Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
