He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
