We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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