marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
