OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
