Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
did i walk over a car last night?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize