im drinking this country out of the recession.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
