Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
