Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i believe in u and ur pee
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
