Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
