We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
