Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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