i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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