I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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