"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
