Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i came on her dog
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
