he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My bed smells like the plague
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