i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's blow job season.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
