I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
