i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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