i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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