So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
