So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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