So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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