actually, I'm a sock model
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
