If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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